In This Article
- Why we can't undo the past but can change its hold on our future
- How letting go differs from excusing harmful behavior
- Why judgment and blame keep old patterns alive
- How changing what we nurture can change what comes next
- Why the undo key may already be in our hands and hearts
“Life is going to continue to suck
until somebody finds the undo key.”
— Variable Star, by Robert Heinlein and Spider Robinson
Is there such a thing as an undo key, and is finding it and using it the answer to all our problems?
As with many question, the answer is both yes and no.
There is not always a clear-cut answer to a question, as our logical mind would like us to believe. That may work in mathematics, but not in daily life.
A Magical Undo Key?
Let's look at the first part of that question: the undo key. Is there such a thing? Yes and no. No, in the sense that there is no magic wand that will somehow teleport us back to a certain number of years ago before all the problems started.
And when would that be anyway? The creation of planet Earth? The advent of human beings? The empowerment of the ego? The creation of communication through words?
I'm sorry to say that there is no physical or magical undo key. But there is a process or an attitude that can, if not undo the past's mistakes, redirect the trajectory of our future. That process can change where we're heading.
That "magical formula" is known by many names, the most common being forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean that what happened was acceptable or that harmful behavior should be allowed to continue. However, since that term is so often misunderstood, I prefer to use a different expression: Let It Go.
Letting go means we choose not to keep carrying the past with us and giving it the power to determine our future. We cannot undo what happened. But we can undo its hold on us and what happens next.
The Origin of the Problem
If we look back at our life, and even if we look back at the history of life on planet Earth, I would venture to say that the origin of all our problems started with lack of love, lack of compassion, lack of empathy, lack of caring. Problems between countries started either by racism or prejudice or by greed and seeking power, or sometimes just by plain stubborn insistence on being right. Yup, those all equate to lack of love.
Problems between humans have the same causes: miscommunication, egos, wanting to be right, and thinking that our way or our attitude or our beliefs are somehow not only better than the other person's, but the only right way.
However, as I'm sure we've all experienced, what works for one person may not work for us. The food that one person loves may be disgusting to us or just not agree with our body. So there's no perfect diet, no perfect food, no perfect anything for everyone. Maybe perfect for you, but that’s it.
There's no one-size-fits-all. There's what works for us in that moment. And there's the awareness of the choice of what is a loving and compassionate action, not only for ourselves but for the people and the world around us.
Seeing Things Differently
So the “undo key” of forgiveness, compassion, etc., doesn't undo what has been done. It provides a new perspective, a new direction. Rather than holding on to our grudges and our judgments, we choose to open to the possibility that we can learn from our current and past experiences. Once we do that, our future actions will not be a continuation or repetition of the past.
For sure, other people have made mistakes, just as we have. For sure, other people have misunderstood us, as we have misunderstood others. For sure, some actions, whether ours or theirs, were based on wanting something from the other person as opposed to wanting the best for them.
And those experiences are all part of our learning process.
We all have different experiences, different backgrounds, different lessons, and different ways of understanding life. Perhaps it's like speaking different languages.
Just because someone speaks a language we don't understand doesn't make their language wrong. And just because we don't understand another person's way of seeing things doesn't automatically make them wrong either. Someone else may understand something that we don't, ort understand it differently, just as we may see something that they don't, or see it differently.
We are all learning, but we're not necessarily learning the same lessons at the same time. We may be fluent in one area of life and complete beginners in another. Yet somehow we judge ourselves and others for not knowing what we believe they should know or for not seeing things the way we see them.
The undo key is the process of letting go of judgments, blame, shame, guilt, and all that stuff, and holding on to the realization that each one of us is at a particular point in our learning process, in our growth, in our development, and we are all doing the best we can at this moment.
Understanding that does not mean approving of harmful behavior. Compassion does not mean accepting or encouraging actions that harm ourselves or others. It means recognizing where someone is while still allowing for the possibility that they can choose differently.
Where There's a Will, There's a Way
The undo process involves letting go of our self-judgments, beliefs, and limitations. And this applies to our own self, to others, to politicians, to corporations, and to the future of the world. When we let go of the limitations of our beliefs and expectations, we stop saying and believing that a different outcome is impossible or even improbable.
One of my favorite expressions is: Where there's a will, there's a way. And to find that way, we have to be willing to, one, believe that a solution is possible, and two, look for it or invent it because it may not exist yet. We need to be willing to tune in to our inner guidance, our intuition, our creativity, our love for life and planet Earth, and find the next best step, no matter how small it is.
The undo key consists of letting go of the belief that because something has always been a certain way, it always will be that way. That is a false assumption. And it has been proved over and over in history.
So many things that were unheard of or “impossible” a century or two or three ago are now commonplace. All it took was someone willing to think outside the limitations of the box that they were in.
And that's where we are now. We need to step out of the limitations of the box we are in and look for out-of-the-box solutions. Look for ideas that may sound crazy, may sound impossible, may sound weird. But within any idea that might not work out, there's the seed of another idea that might.
As we each open our mind and our heart to possibilities of a different path, of a different way, of a different reality, we help it take place. But if we remain in our rut of thinking that there's no way out of our situation, there's no other possibility, then unfortunately, our limiting thoughts and beliefs will tend to keep us in that rut.
So the undo key becomes: let go of focusing on the past, let go of the way it's been, let go of the way you think it's headed, and start dreaming and imagining a new way of being, both for yourself, for the people around you, for your country, corporations, politicians, the attitude between countries, and the planet itself.
These are all made up of human beings. And each human being can change, just as we are changing, day by day, experience by experience.
Changing What We Nurture
While it may have been mocked or ridiculed or minimized, the power of love can open the door to new possibilities and new futures. Love, compassion, and creativity may not undo what has taken place, but when we nurture these traits, they can help determine what comes next.
It has to start with us. How can we be more loving? How can we be more caring? How can we be more compassionate? How can we be less judgmental? How can we be less blame- and judgment-oriented? And the choice takes place in every moment, every action, and every thought.
As President Harry Truman famously said, “The buck stops here.” Basically, when the buck stops here, we take responsibility for what happens from this point on.
We take responsibility for our actions and our inactions, for our thoughts, for our anger and our judgments, for our lack of love, and for our everything. And then we consciously choose our next step, our next attitude.
As we adopt this new way of behaving that is rooted in love, acceptance, and compassion, not judgment and blame, we are teaching that behavior and nurturing that energy in the world around us
The Vibes Matter
We've all felt the vibes when we enter a room where two people just had an argument. They may be simply sitting quietly, but we sense the anger, the frustration, the energy that still reverberates in the room.
Whether we call it telepathy, energy, intuition, or simply sensing what is going on around us, thoughts and attitudes affect energy. And if the thoughts we're putting out there are ones of judgment, blame, anger, and frustration, then that’s what we are nurturing and propagating in the world around us. And like a pebble dropped in a pond, the ripples keep going out further and further.
So when the buck stops here, it means that we start taking responsibility for what we are nurturing and propagating. We start consciously choosing what we want to nurture and have grow and resonate in our life and in the world around us.
And that's how we undo what has been done. We don't undo it in the past, but we undo it in the present. We strip it of its power because we stop nurturing the negativity and the anger and the frustration. We start nurturing what we want to grow: cooperation, compassion, and collaboration.
What Do We Aspire To?
Kahlil Gibran wrote:
“To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved but what he aspires to.”
Perhaps that applies not only to how we see others, but also to how we see ourselves and our world. If we define ourselves only by what we have done in the past, then we leave little room for becoming something different. If we define other people only by what they have done, we may be denying them that same possibility. Same with the reality we are exoeriencing on Planet Earth.
What do we aspire to? Who do we aspire to be? What kind of relationships do we aspire to have? What kind of country, what kind of world, what kind of planet do we aspire to create?
Our past tells us where we've been. Our aspirations can help us choose where we go from here.
The Key Is Already in Our Hands
The undo key is already in our hands and in our hearts, and it can and will change the direction of where we are going. It will change our day-to-day experience. That is how we dismantle the power that has been woven around us with anger and judgment and bigotry, whether of racism or gender or beliefs or politics.
The attitude that only my way is the right way is not a sustainable belief because each one of us is different, and we all stand at a different place on the planet. Our role is to be true to who we really are, beings made of light and love who have accumulated some dark energy, dark behaviors, and dark attitudes along the way.
The undo key is letting go of those, letting go of the belief that we need those to protect ourselves. We don't.
What protects us is love and desiring the best for everyone, not just for us individually.
What we need is win-win relationships, win-win encounters, and a win-win planet.
The undo key was never hidden from us. It has been in our hearts, all along.
About The Author
Marie T. Russell is the founder of InnerSelf Magazine (founded 1985). She also produced and hosted a weekly South Florida radio broadcast, Inner Power, from 1992-1995 which focused on themes such as self-esteem, personal empowerment, and well-being. Her articles focus on transformation and reconnecting with our own inner source of joy and creativity.
Creative Commons 3.0: This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 License. Attribute the author: Marie T. Russell, InnerSelf.com. Link back to the article: This article originally appeared on InnerSelf.com
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Article Recap:
Letting go of the past doesn't mean pretending it never happened. The real undo key is releasing judgment, blame, anger, and limiting beliefs so they no longer determine what happens next. By nurturing compassion, creativity, cooperation, and love, we can change the direction of our lives and help create a different future.
#LettingGo #LettingGoOfThePast #Forgiveness #SelfForgiveness
#Compassion #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalFreedom #MovingForward
#ConsciousLiving #PersonalEmpowerment #InnerPeace #InnerSelf #innerselfcom
